Smile pretty, little teen queen
You look so ugly when you cry
You're a glossy page in a magazine
Better keep those tears inside your eyes...
The Story Behind the Song
"Smile Pretty" was not an easy song to write. When I was in my early 20's was the victim of sexual assault by an acquaintance and never told anyone. I felt violated, embarrassed, and confused, but I kept the hurt inside. I didn't even tell my closest friends and family.
Flash forward to 2019 and Brett Kavanaugh was accused of sexually assaulting Christine Blasely Ford when they were in high school. I'm not going to get political here (I pretty much stay away from politics) BUT the reason I bring this up is that my Facebook news feed blew up with people saying, "She must be lying because she waited so many years to tell." That hit me hard.
I remembered what I went through and knew that I never told anyone. And I'm an outspoken person! It made me realize that if I never told, there must be so many victims who have experienced sexual assault and kept it inside, just like I did. It made me wonder why? We fear that the criminal justice system won't hold the assailant responsible because of their power or status (this was the case for me), we don't want to relive it by telling people, we want it to just go away, we fear that we'll somehow be blamed, and many other concerns that make it seem logical for a traumatized person to say nothing.
Well, I am done with saying nothing. I woke up at 5am one morning and wrote "Smile Pretty" in just over an hour. I cried as I sat in bed typing out the lyrics and strumming the chords. That day, I was at the Kerrville Folk Festival where I was a New Folk finalist. I played "Smile Pretty" for a truly inspirational songwriter Mary Gauthier. Mary listened quietly and then said, "Sarah Jane, that song's gonna touch a lot of lives." Hearing such a supportive first response was so important to me as it fueled my confidence that it was okay to be so vulnerable, to share, and to let my voice be heard.
I hope "Smile Pretty" starts a conversation for those who hear it. If we all raise our voices, imagine the power we would take back. Every 72 seconds an American is sexually assaulted and every 9 minutes that person is a child. Can you imagine how many other assaults are unreported? Of the ones that are reported, only 5 out of every 1,000 perpetrators will end up in prison.
"Smile Pretty" is based partly on my experiences but also experiences of others. This song is about all of us. I'd like to give a very special thank you to the women who joined me in this video. They are all survivors of sexual assault and their stories moved me so much. Thank you for your courage.
I directed and produced this video and the wonderful Jeremy Burchard did the cinematography and editing. We shot in a really beautiful studio in Franklin, TN and it was a powerful experience for all.
The Story Behind the Video
The video for "Smile Pretty" features women who are survivors of sexual assault. Casting and directing this video was a powerful and moving experience for me.
I posted the casting on Facebook in a Nashville Acting group and these incredible, brave women came forward to participate. Hearing their stories was so moving and the energy on the set was powerful.
Jeremy Burchard joined me once again as the cinematographer and editor. I think the whole cast and crew felt like we were creating an important story that needed to be told and my hope is that this video will inspire other survivors to share their story and lift the veil of silence and shame that many feel after they are the victim of sexual assault.
Watch below to hear a candid and moving conversation with the cast right after we shot the video.
In preparing for the video, I wanted to floor to be covered with magazine cutouts by the end of the song. It was actually very powerful to cut each of these in preparation for the shoot. For days, I was cutting out images and getting a lot of insight on how women are portrayed in the media.
Lyrics for "Smile Pretty"
Ponytails and dreams as big the Carolina sky, that was long before she learned to hide her light. People used to say she was going somewhere, but she never went anywhere
She’s a boat on the shore, Made for something more longing for the waves out on the sea. And deep down inside, she feels a rising tide and knows out there is where she’s supposed to be, but she's scared to take that step out of her door, She’s a boat on the shore.
Another cup of coffee wakes her up from last night’s wine as she tells the folks on Instagram she’s doing fine. Scrolling through the pictures of the places she could sail, but she never sailed anywhere
She’s a boat on the shore, Made for something more, Longing for the waves out on the sea.
And deep down inside, she feels a rising tide, and knows out there is where she’s supposed to be, but she's scared to take that step out of her door. She’s a boat on the shore
As the sun is setting on the sea today, she feels a little scared but then she feels a little brave
She’s a boat on the shore, Made for something more, Longing for the waves out on the sea. And deep down inside, she feels a rising tide, and knows out there is where she’s supposed to be.
Then she takes a breath, discovers what she’s for, and sails from the shore
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